Why Am I Such A Procrastinator???

All I can say my friends is UGH!! WHY AM I SUCH A PROCRASTINATOR?????? I am very mad at myself right now for numerous reasons. First of all I am mad at myself because teachers college applications are due December 1st which is yes 8 days away (can you believe it? Christmas is in a month!!). So of course last night I was laying in bed talking to my boyfriend about if I even want to go to teachers college. Now is this because I am afraid? Is this another thing I am shying away from due to fear? Or do I really just not want to go or maybe I am not ready or maybe I just want to do something else with my life. I have always wanted to help people I have always debated between counselling or teaching so I am now having a hard time figuring out what I want to do with this December 1st deadline looming over my head. So I almost just said I am not going to apply...I actually got to this point because I am scared and unsure.
However I have decided to go for it, although I may be too late. I am hoping my transcripts from the school I did my undergraduate degree at get to the teachers colleges I have applied to within the next 8 days or else ... well I have screwed myself once again due to my procrastination and fear. So needless to say I am extreme paranoid that my transcripts will not get there in time and that I will end up wasting 400 dollars in applying with no point :( So cross your fingers for me!! I just hate not knowing what I want to do with my life. I know I want to help people I would love to get into counselling but that requires me to go get my masters which I probably do not have the grades for even though I have an honours degree I do have some bad marks on my transcripts which unfortunately brought my average down to a low B which does not get you into Graduate school. So I do think I would love teaching its just will I get there? Will I get in? It is notoriously hard to get in to teachers college where I live so there is a big possibility that I will not even get in. Ugh. I hate not knowing for sure what i want to do. I used to think that by the time I was 25 I would know what I wanted to do with my life and I would actually be doing it. But I have no clue and I am just sitting on my couch wondering what the heck am I doing with my life? *SIGH*
Another thing I am disappointed with is that I did not go to the gym today nor did I exercise or eat lots of fruit or veggies. I had such good intentions as I went to the fridge tonight and saw no food. Now that I have started eating better my groceries are not lasting as long because I am not ordering take out or eating chips for breakfast lunch and dinner anymore. So tomorrow I definitely have to load up on groceries AND go to the gym!!
I am currently forcing myself to watch the series finale of Jon and Kate Plus 8 just to see what the end will bring for them. However the show is about Kate taking the kids to a dairy farm and Jon yelling at his kids and acting like a giant D-BAG so I guess nothing on this episode is different than any other. It is sad that families can fall apart like that and to see clips of them really happy together and now they are in such a bad place...makes me sad for them :( No matter how much of a jerk he is made out to be or diva she is made out to be I cannot help but feel sorry for them. But I feel sorry for everyone and just wish I could help everyone, I guess maybe I should keep helping myself first!!
Well peeps have a good night and I will post again tomorrow with a hopeful weight in the 180s I am only .4 pounds away from 189 YAY I am sure my eyebrows are eagerly awaiting the 189 pounds celebratory plucking!