Sunday, March 14, 2010

It Has Been Awhile

Well my friends it has been too long since I have posted, about 3 months to be exact. I do not know why i stopped blogging but I was going through some hard times and instead of using my blog as therapy I just started eating horrible food and wallowing in my own misery which of course never helps. So I thought I would start writing again and I would definitely appreciate any words of encouragement or advice from all or any of you :)
So I guess some updates are in order...where to begin. Well I had been dwelling on a lot of negative thoughts before the new year and was trying to deal with them yet I just kept stewing over certain things and could not let them go. One major thing was feeling as though I had no friends. Well this simply is not true I have some very good friends but they all live far away from me and even though we communicate through the phone or email it just is not the same since I am either with my boyfriend or completely alone which made me feel like I had no one. I love Facebook but I hate it all at the same time. It is good for helping to keep in touch with people but sometimes I get stuck looking at peoples pictures having so much fun with all their friends and seeing groups of girlfriends who have all stuck together over the years and it makes me sad because I feel I do not have that. Yet I know I am lucky to have a few really good friends and a great sister that I know would always be there for me when I really need them. Unfortunately the group of girls I belonged to all through my high school years turned out to be not the greatest people. I was always the one who did not talk about them and was a great friend to them and this past year one of them decided she did not like me anymore so of course now I am just completely cast out. Sometimes I have such a hard time believing we are 25 years old and still dealing with the same trivial things as when we were 12, some things never change I guess. So as my New Years resolution I decided that I would try not to care so much about those girls and accept the face that I do have some awesome friends who just happen to be spread across Canada and it is easy to focus on those girls who have ditched me because they are the only ones who stuck around and did not move far away so I guess it is always easy to focus on what is closest to you, it does hurt though as we were very close so I did not really make an effort to hang out with other people because I was always with them so now I really am on my own but I am hoping that one day I will meet some awesome new friends and not even think about those girls anymore. As much as my boyfriend sometimes gets on my nerves I sure am glad to have him because he truly is my best friend also, and I am so glad to have my best friend Sandra who even though she lives in Vancouver now we still talk oh about 6 times a day on MSN lol so I am glad she is in my life.
So it is time to really appreciate the people in my life and stop wishing I had that tight group of girlfriends from high school yes some people are lucky enough to have a group of loyal girlfriends but maybe I just haven`t found mine yet?

1 comment:

  1. They will come, don't you worry! But until then the people you do have in your life will get you by! So glad I have you too :) It's always very strange if we don't talk at LEAST 3 times a day on msn!